Hands Off, My Loots!

Wow…just wow. What you are about to read is probably the best I’ve ever done with a single target. While there are a bit of tears, it is mostly filled with stupid losses, more ISK than brains, and in the end…the transformation of a stubborn miner (or…0.0 alt…whichever way you want to believe) into a pacified customer looking for a few new ships.

You met him in my last post, but here and now, you are going to hear the wonderful story of Kiernance…mighty pvp miner!

After I killed piro95’s vexor like you learned earlier, I saw this in local…which of course got the ball rolling on this whole event.

[ 2010.03.13 05:04:33 ] Kiernance > i gonna go flip you can cyberin
[ 2010.03.13 05:04:40 ] Cyberin > ok
[ 2010.03.13 05:04:47 ] Kiernance > k

Really? Sweet. At this point, I’m thinking he want’s to gank me because I stole his ore earlier. In a little while, I actually find out that he’s just bored and wants to throw away some ISK.

[ 2010.03.13 05:04:59 ] piro95 > your orca is death kiernance
[ 2010.03.13 05:05:10 ] piro95 > watch you backs
[ 2010.03.13 05:05:19 ] Kiernance > lol
[ 2010.03.13 05:06:00 ] piro95 > yes are you sure to take them luck
[ 2010.03.13 05:06:04 ] piro95 > i chit
[ 2010.03.13 05:06:16 ] piro95 > may at your place i reflex
[ 2010.03.13 05:06:27 ] piro95 > i not take them at your place
[ 2010.03.13 05:06:44 ] piro95 > lol you docked
[ 2010.03.13 05:07:05 ] piro95 > because you not good to figth with your frind
[ 2010.03.13 05:07:08 ] piro95 > cyberin
[ 2010.03.13 05:07:20 ] Kiernance > ok
[ 2010.03.13 05:07:30 ] Cyberin > i’m docked? i’m still in the belt…

I couldn’t help but leave that part in there…if you can figure out what piro is babbling on about…more power to ya.

[ 2010.03.13 05:11:44 ] Cyberin > lol, you’re gonna loot my can in that Kier?
[ 2010.03.13 05:11:49 ] Kiernance > yep
[ 2010.03.13 05:11:56 ] Kiernance > lmao

This is about the time that I yell in corp chat that I am about to have corp agro on a Navy Dominix…yes, you read that right. Luckily…the guys in corp are all of a sudden interested .

[ 2010.03.13 05:05:05 ] Cyberin > anyone near Caretyn, might have corp aggro in a sec…
[ 2010.03.13 05:11:18 ] Cyberin > um…possible corp aggro on a navy domy…
[ 2010.03.13 05:12:09 ] Hallax > where are you again?
[ 2010.03.13 05:12:30 ] Cyberin > Caretyn
[ 2010.03.13 05:12:33 ] Cyberin > can anyone get here?
[ 2010.03.13 05:12:38 ] Cyberin > i’m gonna try and stall him
[ 2010.03.13 05:12:48 ] Hallax > do you need RR or pew?
[ 2010.03.13 05:12:52 ] Hallax > im on the way with the raven
[ 2010.03.13 05:13:03 ] Hallax > 3j
[ 2010.03.13 05:13:16 ] Cyberin > anyone else?
[ 2010.03.13 05:13:16 ] Karma Bad > other end of eve from me
[ 2010.03.13 05:13:56 ] Hallax > fleet?
[ 2010.03.13 05:14:27 ] Cyberin > you have leadership skills?
[ 2010.03.13 05:15:15 ] Cyberin > no one else want in on a navy dommy kill
[ 2010.03.13 05:15:56 ] Onilan > I’m omw
[ 2010.03.13 05:16:10 ] Onilan > 3j
[ 2010.03.13 05:16:17 ] Cyberin > hurry, he’s red

Mr. PvP Miner is going to agro me, a rather notorious Ninja…in a 550 Million ISK ship (750mil with the fit actually). Anyone that knows anything knows that it’s not smart to shoot ninjas. Specially since as you see later, he says he’s a null sec guy and this is just an alt…he should know better…but he doesn’t.

[ 2010.03.13 05:17:17 ] Cyberin > this is a tough decision…lol
[ 2010.03.13 05:17:20 ] Kiernance > lol
[ 2010.03.13 05:19:13 ] Kiernance > all you got to do is shoot
[ 2010.03.13 05:19:30 ] Kiernance > it is just a spray painted domi
[ 2010.03.13 05:19:30 ] Cyberin > i know…but…it’s kina suicide…
[ 2010.03.13 05:19:39 ] Kiernance > nothin special

Lets have a talk Kier if you don’t mind. I need time for the Torp fitted Gank Raven that Hallax is flying, and Onilan’s Rupture to get here, they need a little more time please. Thanks!

Now, this is normally pretty top secret stuff…but I’m gonna let you read what the chat log of a quickly thrown together Ninja Gank Squad looks like. Hope you enjoy!

[ 2010.03.13 05:19:56 ] Cyberin > warp to me
[ 2010.03.13 05:19:57 ] Hallax > you pointed him?
[ 2010.03.13 05:20:05 ] Hallax > omw
[ 2010.03.13 05:20:14 ] Cyberin > no, gonna wait till you get here…he’s not aligned
[ 2010.03.13 05:20:19 ] Hallax > k
[ 2010.03.13 05:20:21 ] Onilan > will be on Caretyn gate in 30s
[ 2010.03.13 05:20:31 ] Hallax > ok just come on when you get here
[ 2010.03.13 05:20:33 ] Hallax > i’m incoming
[ 2010.03.13 05:20:36 ] Onilan > rgr
[ 2010.03.13 05:21:25 ] Cyberin > point him if you can
[ 2010.03.13 05:21:33 ] Onilan > here I come to ruin your dayy… ruppy mouse is on the waaaay
[ 2010.03.13 05:21:33 ] Cyberin > neuting me
[ 2010.03.13 05:21:41 ] Hallax > kill his drones
[ 2010.03.13 05:22:13 ] Hallax > this guy is dead
[ 2010.03.13 05:22:27 ] Hallax > hurry up oni
[ 2010.03.13 05:22:58 ] Hallax > try to get a ransom
[ 2010.03.13 05:23:04 ] Hallax > we’ll kill him anyway
[ 2010.03.13 05:23:29 ] Cyberin > he wants a ransom
[ 2010.03.13 05:23:35 ] Cyberin > how much are they worth?
[ 2010.03.13 05:23:40 ] Hallax > a LOT
[ 2010.03.13 05:23:50 ] Hallax > like 500m
[ 2010.03.13 05:23:51 ] Cyberin > hold fire
[ 2010.03.13 05:23:54 ] Cyberin > keep him pointed
[ 2010.03.13 05:24:07 ] Onilan > yrp
[ 2010.03.13 05:24:09 ] Cyberin > lemme scan him
[ 2010.03.13 05:24:38 ] Hallax > i’m out of cap charges
[ 2010.03.13 05:24:51 ] Onilan > got a point and a small neut on him
[ 2010.03.13 05:25:06 ] Cyberin > 550mil on contracts
[ 2010.03.13 05:25:15 ] Cyberin > and, are we gonna honor this or not? i don’t care either way
[ 2010.03.13 05:25:21 ] Hallax > i dont want to
[ 2010.03.13 05:25:24 ] Hallax > i want the KM
[ 2010.03.13 05:25:24 ] Onilan > up to yall
[ 2010.03.13 05:25:25 ] Hallax > oni?
[ 2010.03.13 05:25:33 ] Hallax > uber tears
[ 2010.03.13 05:25:39 ] Onilan > >:)
[ 2010.03.13 05:26:38 ] Hallax > did you get it?
[ 2010.03.13 05:26:46 ] Cyberin > not yet
[ 2010.03.13 05:26:50 ] Cyberin > he’s not faction fit or anything
[ 2010.03.13 05:26:57 ] Hallax > i dont care
[ 2010.03.13 05:27:01 ] Cyberin > so if you guys don’t care, i say we blow him up after he pays
[ 2010.03.13 05:27:02 ] Hallax > that’s a bitch ass killmail
[ 2010.03.13 05:27:07 ] Hallax > yep
[ 2010.03.13 05:27:10 ] Onilan > indeed
[ 2010.03.13 05:28:48 ] Cyberin > he’s gonna pay, still waiting for wallet to flash
[ 2010.03.13 05:28:53 ] Onilan > ah
[ 2010.03.13 05:29:04 ] Cyberin > get a point on him oni
[ 2010.03.13 05:29:11 ] Onilan > got it
[ 2010.03.13 05:29:13 ] Cyberin > you aggroed?
[ 2010.03.13 05:29:16 ] Cyberin > i mean lazy
[ 2010.03.13 05:29:18 ] Cyberin > sorry
[ 2010.03.13 05:29:28 ] Onilan > np
[ 2010.03.13 05:29:30 ] Lazy Eyeh > yep
[ 2010.03.13 05:29:32 ] Cyberin > kill him
[ 2010.03.13 05:30:35 ] Hallax > Federation Navy Stasis Webifier
[ 2010.03.13 05:30:39 ] Hallax > yummy
[ 2010.03.13 05:30:48 ] Cyberin > ooh
[ 2010.03.13 05:30:52 ] Cyberin > didn’t see that
[ 2010.03.13 05:30:53 ] Hallax > rendezvous in dixie then?
[ 2010.03.13 05:31:02 ] Onilan > Warp Disruptor II
[ 2010.03.13 05:31:09 ] Onilan > not too bad for 10m work
[ 2010.03.13 05:31:19 ] Cyberin > you guys wanna throw all the loot in the orca and i’ll split it up after i price it all?
[ 2010.03.13 05:31:26 ] Hallax > sure
[ 2010.03.13 05:31:40 ] Lazy Eyeh > sweet….thanks for letting me on that killmail
[ 2010.03.13 05:31:43 ] Cyberin > just throw it in the corp hanger and i’ll split it up tomorrw
[ 2010.03.13 05:32:02 ] Hallax > which division?
[ 2010.03.13 05:32:06 ] Cyberin > what do you guys want to do about the iskies for lazy since he didn’t really help that much? throw him some, or a full share?
[ 2010.03.13 05:32:10 ] Cyberin > any divisino is fine
[ 2010.03.13 05:32:19 ] Lazy Eyeh > nah I don’t need anything
[ 2010.03.13 05:32:31 ] Cyberin > okies
[ 2010.03.13 05:32:50 ] Hallax > ok fed web is in the hangar
[ 2010.03.13 05:32:54 ] Onilan > Home, james
[ 2010.03.13 05:33:01 ] Cyberin > wow, this was a fun night
[ 2010.03.13 05:33:07 ] Cyberin > this is gonna be an awesome blog post

This next part is out of order now because of that fleet chat, but pretend you didn’t read that, and this happens before we blow him up, but after we get him, and hold him, in structure. I’d also like to point out, that after you see the fit…you might wonder why he kept all his high slots trained on me…the noob in the rifter, rather than the two other people. He could have capped them out and escaped…but didn’t. Reason…he’s…not…an…alt.

[ 2010.03.13 05:23:15 ] Cyberin > up for a ransom?
[ 2010.03.13 05:23:20 ] Kiernance > yea
[ 2010.03.13 05:23:30 ] Kiernance > good play
[ 2010.03.13 05:23:42 ] Cyberin > pull in drones and stop fireing
[ 2010.03.13 05:23:46 ] Kiernance > done
[ 2010.03.13 05:24:23 ] Cyberin > stand by one sec, lemme discuss the price i want with my corp
[ 2010.03.13 05:24:55 ] Kiernance > k
[ 2010.03.13 05:26:03 ] Cyberin > how’s 400 mil sound?

Just to point out…this guy was flashy red to me and my corp, sitting in a belt, not aligned, not moving, with no drones out, didn’t have me locked…for 6 minutes. 6 minutes to warp out because I didn’t have him pointed. 6 minutes to warp out because he realized I was stalling because he’s an experienced null sec guy that should know this. 6 minutes to warp out because he realized he’s being a fucking idiot. 6 minutes to sit there, and lose a 750 Million ISK ship for no reason…sadly, I was too busy during the fight to grab a screenshot.

I waited for both my corp mates to get outside the system, and he still wasn’t aligned. I told them to jump in and align to belt, he still didn’t align. I told them to warp to me, and did not turn on my Warp Scrambler until they LANDED IN THE BELT WITH ME. So much for checking your directional scanner. These are more reasons I think this guy is not an alt…I think they are good reasons.

[ 2010.03.13 05:30:08 ] Cyberin > CAREBEAR STARE!!!
[ 2010.03.13 05:30:29 ] Hallax > SUDDENLY BETRAYAL
[ 2010.03.13 05:38:09 ] Kiernance > don’t spend it all in one place or blow it on exotic dancers
[ 2010.03.13 05:38:34 ] Kiernance > lmao
[ 2010.03.13 05:38:46 ] Cyberin > i’ll try to not buy too many

You pirates will cringe. But, well…I’m not a pirate…and dishonoring ransoms doesn’t hurt me in anyway because the people I prey on are too idiotic to think about it, and because I don’t care that much about the ISK anyway. We discussed it in fleet chat, and decided we would like to have the killmail, and to teach him a little bit of a harder lesson. So we blew the shit out of him…he melted like butter. We even let another corpy that was close by get in system to get on the killmail, though he didn’t get a share of the loot since he didn’t really help…us ninjas are greedy like that! (actually, I offered, but he told us to keep it).

[ 2010.03.13 05:39:05 ] Cyberin > i can’t believe you actually were dumb enough to shoot a ninja in that thing…
[ 2010.03.13 05:39:05 ] Kiernance > k
[ 2010.03.13 05:39:10 ] Cyberin > haven’t you ever heard of our corp, or read our blogs?
[ 2010.03.13 05:39:16 ] Kiernance > i was bored
[ 2010.03.13 05:39:32 ] Cyberin > ah, yes…losing 500mil isk ships when bored is a smart idea
[ 2010.03.13 05:40:48 ] Kiernance > this is an alt
[ 2010.03.13 05:41:04 ] Kiernance > so what ever lol
[ 2010.03.13 05:43:40 ] Cyberin > if you’d like, you can just give me any moer ships you don’t want, or iskies, etc…
[ 2010.03.13 05:44:32 ] Kiernance > lol
[ 2010.03.13 05:46:47 ] Kiernance > naw i will just go back to what i was doin good luck hope that made your dick hard
[ 2010.03.13 05:46:56 ] Kiernance > lol
[ 2010.03.13 05:48:03 ] Cyberin > it did…thanks

He quit his corp a little later…not sure why.

[ 2010.03.13 06:06:05 ] Cyberin > why the corp quit Kier?
[ 2010.03.13 06:10:02 ] Kiernance > different reasons
[ 2010.03.13 06:11:20 ] Kiernance > i actually quit yesteday lol
[ 2010.03.13 06:11:56 ] Cyberin > ah, waiting for roles i guess?
[ 2010.03.13 06:13:28 ] ecnanreiK > yea
[ 2010.03.13 06:13:34 ] ecnanreiK > lol
[ 2010.03.13 06:13:54 ] Cyberin > oops
[ 2010.03.13 06:13:56 ] Kiernance > me too..
[ 2010.03.13 06:14:17 ] Kiernance > that is one my alts too
[ 2010.03.13 06:14:19 ] Kiernance > lol
[ 2010.03.13 06:14:34 ] Cyberin > lol, kinda figured
[ 2010.03.13 06:14:41 ] Kiernance > empire mining alts
[ 2010.03.13 06:16:06 ] Cyberin > null mining alts would make more
[ 2010.03.13 06:17:44 ] Kiernance > they would get killed atm
[ 2010.03.13 06:18:16 ] Cyberin > Onilan says thanx for his new Dramiel btw, he asked me to pass that along
[ 2010.03.13 06:20:13 ] Kiernance > k

I can’t really respond to that…that’s about as good as it gets. Or is it?

Herr Wilkus is known for 2 things mostly within our alliance. He runs our investment program, and he kills Hulks…lots of them…

He answer my evemail, and was excited to help me out. So, while the chat logs are rather dry…and there are actually no real tears from Kiernance about the whole issue…it was a fun, and eventful morning/afternoon for me.

I wasn’t content with just taking his Domi, and his 400mil ISK. I wanted his hulk. After about an hour or so of planning, scouting, and moving his ship into position with my help, Herr Wilkus destroyed Kiernance’s hulk with 1 volley, in an Ice Belt in a 0.7sec system, with dozens of mackinaws watching.

After Wilkus popped him, he sent the standard EVEMAIL he sends to all his victims.

chatlog
From: Herr Wilkus
Sent: 2010.03.13 21:51
To: Cyberin,

Kiernance > hi that was sneaky
Kiernance > lol
Herr Wilkus > Popping hulks is my hobby
Kiernance > so if pay you will stop this?
Herr Wilkus > yes, TEARS will set you light blue and you’ll be left alone.
Herr Wilkus > otherwise, we’ll be checking up on you again.
Kiernance > to you ?
Herr Wilkus > either me, or Velocity Prime, however if you pay Prime I cant confirm the transaction until he logs and contacts me.
Herr Wilkus > me, and I’ll have prime put you on the ‘no touch’ list.
Kiernance > k
Herr Wilkus > ok, got it. Glad to do business with you. I will write the email now, Prime should set you blue next time he comes online.

I almost cried…because now, since he paid (and is actually the first to ever actually pay that protection fee I think) you’ll get no more stories from me about him.

Channel Name: Private Chat (Kiernance)
Listener: Cyberin

[ 2010.03.13 22:04:56 ] Kiernance > so you will not aggress anymore
[ 2010.03.13 22:04:57 ] Kiernance > ?
[ 2010.03.13 22:05:31 ] Cyberin > correct
[ 2010.03.13 22:05:47 ] Cyberin > As a director in TEARS I can assure you you will not be messed with anymore
[ 2010.03.13 22:06:17 ] Kiernance > well just watchout with that orca someone will spot it and gank that ..lol
[ 2010.03.13 22:06:23 ] Cyberin > the next 24 hours might be iffy until VP gets on to set you blue, but if something happens in that time please let me know and I will reimburse you
[ 2010.03.13 22:06:37 ] Kiernance > the alts orca that hang out with you guys
[ 2010.03.13 22:06:51 ] Kiernance > someone other than me
[ 2010.03.13 22:06:57 ] Cyberin > it’s insured, and it’ll give me kill rights…and it was free, so i wouldn’t care lol
[ 2010.03.13 22:07:04 ] Kiernance > lol
[ 2010.03.13 22:07:25 ] Cyberin > plus i watch local, if i see a few BSes coming near me i’m out
[ 2010.03.13 22:07:47 ] Kiernance > yea good thing those things suck balls movin around
[ 2010.03.13 22:09:20 ] Kiernance > well i wont mess with you guys anymore
[ 2010.03.13 22:09:27 ] Cyberin > that they do, but when they are tanked…it takes a lot to kill the,
[ 2010.03.13 22:09:34 ] Kiernance > hopefully you wont mess with me
[ 2010.03.13 22:09:47 ] Cyberin > I hope not, if you mess with us the standings will be reset
[ 2010.03.13 22:09:56 ] Cyberin > I can guarantee you will not be messed with though
[ 2010.03.13 22:10:08 ] Kiernance > k gtg cya

Oh, and for anyone wondering how my rampage through the Caretyn system worked for the locals.  When I left for work that day…there were no cans in the belts, and no less than 7 people in iterons mining directly into their holds. 2 of them were from piro95’s corp.