Hands Off, My Loots!

I recently posted my opinion of someone else’s idea on how to get Ninjas to go away.  I’ve gotten some feedback via comments (and some Tears…that you Mr. Crybaby Anonymous Poster), one of which was rather excellent…and lead to this post.  Eve SOB over at Eve SOB said:

OUTCH! So Mr. Ninja, in a world reversed how would YOU deal with Ninja salvager who decided to loot?!?! Take a moment if you can to account how it would be if you were some how a mission running corp. and had some one like yourself to deal with.  I’d be interested if you could write a counter to your perfect methods to extract tears.

I am of the opinion that the majority of the people I prey on do not read forums or blogs (if they do, shame on them for falling for the same old tricks over and over again)…so I don’t feel that anything I post here will in any way hurt my ‘business’…hence the reason I’m posting it.  So, I hope all you carebears enjoy reading about how to avoid/get rid of a Ninja…from the viewpoint of a Ninja!

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Rule #1: Have Fun

Before I get into all the nitty gritty of this post, I’d just like to state (as I have on multiple occasions) that EVE is a game.  It is meant to be fun.  If that means you like to shoot NPCs, other people, pirates, be a pirate, trade, manufacture, Ninja Salvage, steal loot, any/all of the above…then more power to you.  I choose to have fun in this game by taking peoples stuff and then making fun of them.  I don’t do this in real life (no matter what you big meanies think ), but I enjoy it in game.  So, whatever you do…have fun!  And in my point of view…when a Ninja enters your mission…then fun can begin!

Rule #2: Be Nice

I know it’s hard for some people to do, but it really (REALLY) helps.  When I warp into your mission, I have two things on my mind.  First, I want you to shoot at me.  Second, I want you to whine when I take your shit.  To fully understand this, you have to get the “Big Picture” of what Tears are.  Tears are not just whining.  Tears are: whining, foul language, shooting your wrecks, dropping can labeled ‘fuck off’, evemailing me about how you are going to skullfuck my grandmother (yes…true story…lol), and pretty much anything other than simply ignoring me or being polite.  If you acknowledge my presence in any manner that is not courteous and polite, then I consider the flowing of Tears to have begun.

Some people don’t agree with me on this, but I don’t care…each Ninja has their own idea of Tears, and most carebears do too.  Ours tend to be a little more broad than theirs.

So, the first step is very simple.  Be polite.  If you convo me and tell me you’ll pay me 1 Million ISK to leave, without threatening me or being a smart ass, I will leave…I swear I will.  If you convo me and start a friendly conversation, I will most likely stop looting/salvaging and orbit your ship while we talk.  Please note not every Ninja does this, I do, and I know many that do…but just like any ‘community’ not everyone is the same and I can’t speak for all of us.

I have a personal blue list, and those that are polite to me get added to it…and I don’t ever bother them again.  Those that provide excellent Tears?…they get added to my ‘To-Do’ list.

Rule #3: We are NOT invincible

Yes, if you shoot me, and then stay in your mission…I am most likely going to come back in something bigger and destroy you.  BUT…use your brain.  Check my age, check local for my friends, etc…if you have the advantage…USE IT!

I can’t count the number of times that I’ve warped into a mission where 4-5 people from the same corp are doing a mission.  All of them have drones, all of them are in battleships…and I’m flashy red to every one of them.  Do they shoot?…no, they don’t.  If you have overwhelming odds…please, fucking blow me up!  I’m not going to come back in my gank ship when I know there are 5 of you (most times).  If I have friends around, I might come back with Remote Repair assistance, but they aren’t going to keep me alive facing 5 enemies.

If you have balls, and kill me (especially in my gank ship) I will most likely not bother you again.

Rule #4: Don’t Shoot the Logistics Pilot

In Rule #3 above I mentioned having some Remote Repair help.  For the love of all things sacred…please don’t shoot them.  They can fly a gank ship too…and once you shoot them…guess what they are going to go get?

Rule #5: Don’t mission in mission hubs

This one is pretty straight forward.  Ninja target systems that are high in mission traffic.  So go find you an out of the way system that isn’t very busy, and you’ll have a MUCH less likely chance of being one of our victims.

Rule #6: Pay Us

I don’t honor ransoms, some ninja do.  Why don’t I?  Because ransoms are not part of my income, they are a bonus.  I don’t care if I hurt my rep and people don’t pay me ransoms anymore (plus, like I said…the people that will pay one don’t read blogs/forums/etc…so they won’t know my rep).  However, I can guarantee you 100% that if I tell you that you can pay me a small ‘protection fee’…then you can be damned sure you are now blue to me and I won’t be in your missions anymore.  This is because it’s free ISK for me…I get money for not bothering you…it’s a Win Win.

Also, don’t be afraid to offer me this type of transaction either.  Sure, you’ll have to pay a bit…but I can guarantee my fee is less than what you’ll lose in salvage from me.

Rule #7: Don’t let me have fun

This is probably the easiest one here.  If you shoot me, it’s fun.  If you suicide me, it’s fun.  Evemail me death threats…fun.  Pop your wrecks…fun.  Etc, etc, etc…fun, fun, fun.  Look at Rule #1.  Do you think I’m gonna stay around if I’m not having fun?

Bonus Tip:

You can make a few ships unscanable.  It will hurt your tank, but using ECCM modules you can get your signature strength higher than your sig radius.  When this happens…you can NEVER be scanned down.  Don’t ask me which ones, I don’t know…use google…I just know it can be done.

Now, it’s late, and I’m tired, so I’ll end this post here, before I start rambling incoherently.  If some of this doesn’t make sense, you want more detailed info, or you simply have any ideas you’d like to ask me about whether they would help avoid ninjas or not, I’m always open to discussion…because I like to talk.  Comment here, or email me at cyberineve @ gmail.com, or make a response via you blog…whatever.

Notice: All Ninjas are not created equal, so sometimes these things will work, and sometimes they won’t.  The only way to be 100% safe from a ninja is to make your ship unscannable.  Other than that…it hangs on the threads of fate.

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p.s…Rule # 3.5: Don’t Shoot Ninjas

Rule #3 says to shoot us if you have overwhelming odds.  Please do so, as you’ll have fun.  But if it’s just you, or you and some other noob friends.  Don’t shoot us.  We will kill you.  And if you shoot us and then dock…we will stay in your mission, extend aggro, and wait for you to either come back, or log.  I have personally killed people over 2 HOURS after they shot at me…it can happen.

If you want to fight us, then please…by all means shoot.  But if you don’t want to lose your ship…you shouldn’t have undocked in the first place.

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p.p.s…@ Eve SOB…did I miss anything?  Anything else you’d like me to talk about/mention that you might be wondering about?